Friday, February 1, 2013

Getting Started

Isn't getting started always the hardest part.  I have started several blogs actually, but I haven't kept on with any of them.  I like to write and I am good at it, but I also think that because I read so many other blogs, my own voice gets lost somewhere when I try to emulate others I admire.  So...I am just getting started once again, but not giving it near as much thought.  I am starting to believe that this idea that you need to have well laid plans in order to make something successful hinders many of us from moving forward at all.  We do not need perfection...we just need to put one foot in front of the other and make *something* happen.  See where it goes.  And at the very least...if you are doing it from your heart and doing what feels right for you in the moment, at least you have that!  I invite you to get started with me.  Whatever it is that you have been putting off because you feel you don't have the appropriate planning done, the background, the education, whatever....just start putting one foot in front of the other today. 

About me?  Well, I am a mother and wife.  I have two sons.  I am not sure when it happened that I began to descibe myself in this way.  Prior to my son being born, I told people I was a teacher and I also did a lot of investing.  I was a go-getter!  I didn't really plan much.  If I knew I wanted to do something, I immediately just started moving towards my goal and did it.  I was pretty much always successful.  Once I put my mind to something, whatever it got done!  I was never fearful that I might fail.  So here I am at 39 years old with many successes under my belt, a good education, a great resume, full of ideas...why, now, do I find myself stalling?  Things have changed.  I think things have changed for many of us, haven't they?  When I got pregnant with my first son, I was living in San Francisco.  I had a great job where I was well respected.  I was going to grad school on the side for Finance.  My husband was warm, caring, handsome, and successful in his own career.  He made very good money and we were very comfortable there and living in the marina in San Francisco.  Life was very easy.  We worked for it, but we had arrived at a point where things were just easier. 

We moved to Texas when I was about 4 months pregnant.  I had decided to take time off as a teacher to take care of my baby.  My husband kept recieving job offers from other firms around the world.  He hadn't applied for anything nor was he looking, but apparently he was a hot ticket and people wanted him to come work for them.  So we weighed our options and he took a job for a firm in Dallas.  We were able to buy a big beautiful house in a great neighborhood with nationally highly ranked schools.  This is the dream, right?  We were in our thirties and financially stable, getting ready to have a baby, buying a great home that would be perfect for our future brood...the works!  The new firm where my husband worked was singing his praises all the time.  He closed a huge deal within months of being there...the biggest deal the firm had ever closed by far.  He felt his job was completely secure. 

We had our baby and life continued.  Then...............he lost his job.  Just like that, we were unemployed with a 7 month old baby and a fat mortgage.  My husband assured me that a few months out of work wasn't going to be a big deal.  I panicked a bit, but then began to relax as he began looking for a new job.  People were interested, but at the same time, the economy was getting worse.  A few months later, the economy was in a place that I didn't know could exsist outside of The Great Depression. 

 I will cut to the chase, It has been almost 5 1/2 years since my husband lost his job and he is in the room next to me doing what he does  Looking through job postings, calling people, e-mailing people, following up on resumes he has sent, etc. 

I began doing the same thing about a year ago.  I thought it would be easy for me to get a job since it HAS always been easy for me to get a job.  I have now applied for every job, teaching or otherwise that I could remotely be qualified for.  I usually do not even get an e-mail back saying that they are not interested.  I haven't had one single interview.  I'll be frank...this is depressing.  Just yesterday, I applied for two more jobs and did atleast get a response from one person saying I was over qualified.  Ummmm....I just want to work.  One very good piece of advice this woman gave me though is to stop looking for jobs and start a business of my own.  I have considered doing this in the past and have made plans for doing this.  I even have somewhat of a partner with one plan that has for now...gone by the wayside, but when I start to think of what I might lose...I panic and I begin to look for jobs again.  I have children now and if I isn't just me.  But on the otherhand, I am not getting younger and my money is flying out the door as you read this.  It's true that if I am going to right this ship, it's only because I am going to have to go out on a limb and make it work...somehow.  I don't know how yet, but I have to put one foot in front of the other today.

So...if this is you.  Join with me.  Don't check your facebook next because it really doesn't matter.  Don't check your e-mail again.  Don't read the next blog entry here or anywhere else.  Sit back for a moment and think about what it is you are trying to do in your life.  What are you procrastinating on?  How are you holding yourself back?  Find a quiet space and meditate on it.  Write your own journal entry or even a blog entry about it.  This is the time for action...this very moment.  I will see you again tomorrow, but for now...I am going for it. 

As for tomorrow, I know I want to write about NanoWrimo and how their philosophy can help me (and you) move forward.  Read it...TOMORROW!  Seriously....get off the internet now;)

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